I have always been the first person to apologize. In the past, I attributed it to good manners and a disdain for confrontation. But now that I try to examine my actions and emotions more carefully, in order to learn what makes me tick, I’m realizing it has more to do with my feelings about myself than toward anyone else.
I say “I’m sorry” because I don’t think favorably of myself. That they think I am awkward. That their time is more valuable than mine. That I am of no substance compared to them. But this isn’t true. I don’t need to apologize for who I am. It’s time we all stop apologizing for every little thing. And here’s why:
1. Self-love starts with self-acceptance
Finding self-love is a long journey, one I am nowhere close to completing. But I am learning that an important stepping stone in the process is learning to accept yourself. This means every part of yourself, not just those that you like or that others compliment you on. Everything! By accepting yourself, you start to realize that you don’t have anything to apologize for, to yourself or to anyone else, when it comes to who you are.
2. Own who you are, including your quirks
We all have flaws and weaknesses but they are a part of what makes us who we are. Nobody is perfect (yet another lesson I am trying to learn). You would not be you without your quirks, be it awkwardness, a different sense of humor, your interests, anything. So, own it! Be unapologetically you. Don’t alter your personality so others will like you more. If they don’t like you for you, then they’re not worth your time. Don’t apologize to anyone for being you.
3. Your time is valuable
I have so much trouble saying no to people and just about every time I do, I apologize for it. “Sorry, I’m really busy so I can’t do xyz for you”, or something of the like. Your time is valuable, just as much as anyone else’s. It is impossible to please and do everything for everyone. Pick what’s important to you and focus on that. Help others where you can, but don’t feel obligated and don’t feel guilty for saying no.
4. You are worthy of respect
You respect others and they should respect you too. Don’t let others intimidate you, make you feel small and force you to feel like an apology is necessary. I know, easier said than done. But as you’re working toward self-love, self-confidence is also a key factor. Try to have the confidence in yourself that you deserve to be respected and not apologize to others if they don’t agree with your suggestions or ideas.
So, what do you think? Are you ready to stop apologizing and own yourself today? It’s a tough habit to break but keep these points in mind as you work towards being more unapologetically you.
That’s all for today, friend. See you next time!